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Post by Admin on Mon Feb 25, 2008 2:34 am

This request have I get from a girl .. how can we answer?

The letter:
Dear sir:

I wanna tell you one thing what happen on 17 Feb,2008.

My name - --- I am from ..........

I'm a christian.and through on (this forum) one Africa guy U.C.found me. Then i brought him to our church.

coz he told me he is also a christian. Then he go there every sunday but i noticed every time he is late.
but we never meet alone or hang out. Just meet in the church. Last sunday 17 Feb,2008.after Church,in the afternoon,i visite him. Cause he invite me everytime.Then i go there alone.He has another friend in his house also name Chris.

Chris cooked Africa food.

But you know during Chris cooking. U.C. raped me.I hit him and struggle. But how can my meager strength fight a formidable man??I hate him. i will go there because we are church friend. But i never know he will force me sex with him. I wanna call police.but i'm afriad.
tell me pls what i'm going to do???

it's hard to talk to God.and even read the bible.

I hate him. tell me what i'm going to do?

(First of all I have anwer this lady personally/private,cause she have ask me privat adwise and maybe she dont want her name to coming up,like a lot of other Girls who have same bad experience,and I respect that)

She say "Dear sir" to me.. Smile The first I get was "respect"!
Before she know me.

And she "tell" us in this way, she respeckt othe people! And whant the same oposite..want us to respeckt here.

I do that! How about you?

This Girl will maybe be a member of this forum,but now she just watching and read.

Can we adwise here?

Rape is "not" only "sex" "Rape" is when some people dont have respeckt for other people!

When you go to church,when you have recieve Jesus,Is the fundation over all law : Respeckt other people.
I know God will "tell" this man what he have done,..maybe this man and all other ..Maybe God will tell it in a good way,how he have destroy,and missuse "respeckt",and this man feel bad.

I am 100% sure,people like this never get peace and will in that way be "punished" the rest of the life,outside they dont care..but the heard work against and they know!

Cause when they stand in the church and pray,and ask for forgiveness,.. they cant hide it for God.

And the "highway" for forgiveness depend on how you mean it,and are more than .. "I am sorry God"

They need to mean it,and prove it for God.

So I am SURE,when you read this now..close your eyes,and just "feel", God stand beside you just now!You can open your hands,and he hold it..just feel it.I know he doit now,cause he are also here with me,and have promise to doit...

He also "tell me" You say he is christian.. but,his name is also "Chris"..?

His mother for a long time ago,was so proud of his son,she love him so much and call him Chris..
( Chris may refer to Christopher and Christian)
The use of Christian as a personal name derives from its use to describe followers of Christianity. "Christian" can also mean "Christ Believer".

He have also missuse the name the mother gave him.. he dont realy know how many he have hurt...

I dont know what God want with your life.. but just feel one more time.. he is there right now.So just ask him.
He will show you the right thing in the future..But stop up and ask some time,dont forget he is beside you where ever you are, every time..

God bless you


If you want,give more awise....( press reply) and give this Girl respect! She have ask for it!

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Post by John on Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:14 pm

First, let me say my heart breaks to hear this. I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know your name but you are my sister! And you did not deserve to be mistreated!

Rape is not sex. Rape is a crime; it is an assault.

Sex is voluntary. Rape is forced.

The criminal who did this to you tries to blur the truth. Anything that is not 100 % true is a LIE!

My sister, would you say the victim of a theft deserved it? NO! This criminal tried to steal your heart.

I don't know where you are from. Without knowing your country, I don't know the law of the land. I can tell you, after 8 days, it won't be easy to prove to the police. But God knows! Don't associate with these men any more! We know their fruits. This is not a Christian! This criminal has not repented; therefore, treat him as the predator he is! The Apostle Paul warned that, after his death, ravenous wolves would enter the church, dressed as sheep, seeking to attack the flock. My dear, I don't blame a sheep for a wolf attack!

God loves you! Trust Him to heal you! And know you have brothers and sisters in Christ who love you too!

God bless and comfort you through Jesus Christ!

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Post by Angelgirl on Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:25 pm

My heart goes out to this sister. I too, am a victim as well as my daughter when she was 12. I agree with John. Rape is force but it is also a show of power. It isn`t the sex in itself that turn these men on but to be in complete control. Don`t associate with these people. If you can`t go to the authorities then go to the head of the church...the Pastor as well as God. I`ll be praying. NO ONE deserves to be treated like this. Please don`t let this influence how you treat people. Not ALL men are like this. If you can, see a counselor, psychologist. You have my prayers for the Lord to cradle you in His arms...carry you until you can stand again. God Bless you!

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Post by ani on Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:09 am

It's so ... horrible!!! i actually want to cry when i hear stuff like this, but the bad thing about it is that the deed has already been done and can not be reversed. But i believe so much in the saying"Prevention is better than Cure".

Sister, i'm so sorry this happened to you, but a piece of advice i would give you that u must stick to (because there are A LOT of guys with wacked mentalities who think if a woman smiles at them, they "want it" but just pretend...and they would go ahead to pressure you, others think that you dont know you want it, and tempt you, while others think they just must have you, and they start to scheme from the very day they set their eyes on u):

Whether or not you meet a guy in Church or in Heaven, a man's mind is the same except it is being thoroughly and continuosly renewed by the word of God (Romans 12 vs 2), so NEVER find yourself alone with a guy, because even if he doesnt rape you, you could give in, or be tempted urself. And except u wana make a comitment, am sure u dont wana have a record of ... Do not always hang around a guy (even with ppl there) and be extra nice all the time... even if u wana do kind things and all, u dont have to do it directly, u cud do it thru someone else, before u get someone dreaming unholy dreams about u. And making unholy plans for u.

I was almost in the same case once, am just ever grateful to God that the guy dint go farther than he did(there was no actual sex). but i was bruised, and vowed never to trust any1 from here to there, although i usually wont, its just that this particular brother was ... someone everyone would have trusted, but it so happened that he won my friendship, and got me to help him out at home some times, he saw i was good at that and his finacee was not(so he said after everything), and i was only glad to go, cos i felt i was helping someone.

Whenever he had to purchase anything, he asked me, i even helped him buy a laptop once, and he just wont let me be...always made sure that i was at his house, and we'd even play card games, and board games, and even watch a movie(he was actually my leader, so he wasnt someone i would easily say no to, cos i revered him), until one fateful day, as i had resolved to doing, once its almost dark, i tkae my leave, he wont let me, asking me to please stay, and i kept saying i had to go, until this tym i was darn serious, and he pounced for the kill! i was devastated, i dint believe this was hapnin to me, and btw us.

i tried to keep calm, so that i dont get bruised too much, and lose strength to escape, and also not to aggravate him to double up his strength, in btw i chipped in a word or 2, asking him to pls leave me alone, minding not to offend him, and make him get forceful. at a point i was confused, i tried to secure all private areas of my body with the little strength and some little combat skills i have, but of course i couldnt stand him if he got wilder than he alredi was. I ended up with bruises, and covered my neck with turtle necked tops for a while and all that, and till now, am not friends with him and always tell him off.

Bottom line is, stay away from guys if u cant handle them. Be friends with a guy only from a distance. Relate closely with ur fellow females, rather than males (if u cant handle them). Guard ur self, thats the only prevention. Dont let guys feel free enough to touch u anyhow they want, a handshake (for not more than a second) would do, no "unecessary" hugs and kisses. Still be nice though, maintain ur charm, but from a distance. Help people, if they are guys, please do so on a general note, through a love feast, or through someone.

Dont get urself into a post where ud always have to meet with the guys over and over again... If u meet someone u want to "be with (thats if u dont alredi have someone), then make sure u know exaclty what ur doing from the scratch, and maintain it, put down all ur cards, and make sure he does the same.

I think i have spoken a whole lot. Im so sorry about the whole incidence, u dint deserve that at all (no one does). And i pray u get over it. Just sit down and forgive urself first, then forget about him (notice i dint say forgive him Very Happy , but u can as God helps u to), and determine to move on and be stronger, and determine not to let the devil get u down again; be on ur guard girl.
-- take it from a black (African) sister!

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