Life with a Non-Christian Partner

( this is cut from other forum- just reply if you have some good tip)

My question is should a Christian date or marry a non-Christian? What if you first started dating or you married the person when you weren't a Christian yourself?
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Posted by Vickie
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hi VICKY, the BIBLE in a lot of ways advices marry some one who is in concert with your belief, it is smarter for you to marry someone who believes what you believe if you want to build yourself up in the faith, or else you'll find our relationship working against everything you believe in, you'll never know any peace. believe me i've been there.
but if you are already married to the person before your conversion, then you'll have to live with the consequences of your actions.
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Posted by Georgina.
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I believe that if you are a Christian, you should get married to a Christian. When you marry a non-Christian, for the first few weeks you will not notice much, but with time, you will start yearning to share those special christian moments with your spouse who might be disinterested. His disinterest will drive you up the wall and drive you to push your will. This is a vicious cycle where you want your spouse to share in your faith while he insists that you met him as he is and is not willing to change.
For many this sounds familiar because it is a situation many have been in.
But do not lose heart if you did marry before you converted. God gives you the burden to pray your spouse into salvation, and because of the love you already have for him/her, you find yourself always bringing him/her before the Lord in prayer, asking God to have mercy on them.
Basically, it is much easier to find one that is already a christian and share in the faith without clashing.
What happens when the children come, and both of you want to introduce them to your individual beliefs?
The Bible already states that we shoud not be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers. This means that there will never be equality in a relationship between a non christian and a christian. It continues to say that "darkness and light can never mix".
Therefore, If you are considering marrying an non christian, listen to the spouses that will be answering your question on this chapter. They will be speaking from their own hearts.
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Posted by Eva
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I agree with everything you said. I've seen other people go through this same issue, and it seems like it would be easier if it was best avoided from the start. It's easy to do that when you ask up front about that person's religious affiliations. The hard thing is separating yourself from someone you really love, that you met before you decided to take your Christian journey. It does seem slightly unfair to them, because they may have put alot of time and effort into the relationship. What if the person you are with supports your decision, and doesn't want to hinder your progress, yet they feel like this is still not the road for them?
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Posted by Vickie
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I believe that when God inspired the Bible, he foresaw all these issues you have stated. THere is always an answer for everything in His word. But I also believe that if rules were to be bent alittle for the person who might have put alot into a relationship that should be ended because one person has converted into Christianity, then the rules will start being bent all the way.
A new convert should be the LAST person to marry a non christian, because,- is it easier to go up or go down? - It is easier for the new believer to be pulled down by the non christian, than it is for the new convert to pull the non christian up.
They may not be against your conversion, and they may even support you all the way, but the grief will still be the same when you are all alone in church and they are sleeping at home, when you have to discipline your children bibilicaly and they pour cold water on your efforts stating that you are too harsh on the kids, when they stay out all night and you cannot do the same, when you have to instill the truths of the Word of God as though you are a single parent, because he has no clue what you are doing.
The list of negatives is endless. Eventually, you will still feel alone, if you cant share your christian joy with him. Safer to marry a christian.
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Hey vicky my belief is that it doesnt really matter if he is a christian or not because both has its positives and negatives..if you dating somebody who stood their ground in God i think that together you are able to build each other up spiritually and emotionally..and if you in a marriage then you together can raise your children in the right way like you two being the pillars that hold up your home...instilling the right morals and values in the lives of ur children however if you do have someone that is a non-believer God maybe also leading you to change that person. You never know just pray about everything you do and before you do it...i dunno if you also may have already married the non-believer and now realised you want to be a faithful christian then that maybe a little bit harder but hey through prayer we can conquer it all..dont ever feel you made a mistake...God never makes mistakes and he always has a plan for us but it is for us to always make the right decision. JnIX
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i think thats ok.....but always remember just becasue one calls himself/herself a christian does not necessary mena they are what u expect..even in xstian marriage the man can have affairs or lie or cheat and vice versa ..i think the focus is too reflected on the name rather on the walk and life of one person..just my opinion

Posted by FoXy
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i meant to say not too focus too much on the name of the faith..becasue christian u could mean aglican and cahtolics ?? could they get married?? or orthodox and baptist could they get married?? or adventist and protestants could they get married?>? thats something to think about...anf if people decide to marry in the church they wont allow it till one changes faith to the religion...i rather find a partner with in my faith someone that observes Sabbath and the rest of the feasts..but if i meet someone that does not and still aknowleges jesus as the messiah i would pray about it and if it would be Gods will i would go ahead and marry him..if NOt then he aint the guy for me to begin with ...
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Posted by FoXy
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Yea thats true, I think every Christian needs to learn how to deal with living life around other non-Christians, because regardless of whether we choose them as our husbands or wives, we still have to work with them, or send our children to school with them, etc. That's always going to be an issue in life. But choosing others who are most similar to ourselves as mates will benefit a person better in life i think. Still a hard lesson to learn.
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